Waking up to awareness

Y’all….I’m a Texan now so I can say that! Hahah. It’s been awhile since I’ve written. If you have followed my others posts we straight up moved from Delaware to Texas and I love it here! Something about southern hospitality and people helping people. It’s so different here then the east coast.

How many of you have had a “wtf” year?? It’s been a heck of a ride this year. So many of you are waking up to being “sensitive” or simply put, an empath.

Why is this happening? Why have you always felt alone or depressed? Simply put…we are here to change the world. I believe things are changing but we as a whole need to step up and embrace it. I really should rename my blog, Messy Empath. Half the time, I don’t know what the heck is happening, who I’m picking up or what the frig this ache or pain is related to. Could it be me or the guy I’m next to. How do you tell? Do you blame on others or own up to your aches/pains. Saging, or using sage oil, walking bare foot in the grass or simply put as “grounding” is the quickest way to figure that out. Also- journaling or blogging is a great start.

Going to crowded areas- my eyes water like crazy. Being around stressed out peeps- shoulders ache like something awful. Female energy- I will feel tingles in my left calf. Male energy- right calf. My husband, currently under a whole lot of stress. I can feel his active brain every night while we turn off the lights and go to bed…and I can’t sleep because of it. We joke about it now but even though he will be laying there, quiet, he feels soooo loud and I have a hard time falling asleep because of it. Just a few examples for you. I started writing them down and really paying attention to how I feel. I highly suggest you do the same, pay attention! It will help you have less wtf moments. I also highly suggest the book- Feelings Buried Alive Never Die. OR buy the app for your phone, I think it’s $5. Anyway- There is a section in the book of ailments and what the meaning behind it is. For example- when I feel pain in my shoulders from people, looking up shoulders in the book, the first symptom of shoulder pain is “bearing burdens that don’t belong to you.”

Yes, being sensitive can be a difficult journey but we are here to help others get back in touch with humanity. Change the negative into a positive. Is this an awful gift? Not really. Trying to control it is difficult but picking up on others, being a human lie detector, helping others when you feel the sadness. We are here to change the world. You were picked to help the change and yes, you are a f’n rockstar! Have a blessed day, y’all!! Xo

Spirit

As Empaths, we “feel” more then any other ability out there. A little background-the past few months have been a little tough on all of us as we are relocating from the east coast to the southwest.

My son, 13 1/2, is taking it pretty hard (leaving his friends, changing schools) and has been wanting to sleep in my room with me. I’ve been allowing it as I believe to nuture and protect as much as possible, classic Cancer, lol. Both of my sons are sensitive also. Lately, my eldest has been having more nightmares which is another reason he is wanting to feel protected and asks to sleep in my room.

Anyway, last night. Both of my kiddos in my room (hubby has midnight shift work and not home), made it extremely hard for me to fall asleep. Tons of energy swirling around. Fell asleep around midnight only to wake up at 3:30. Tossed and turned for over an hour. Finally gave up and took my stuff to sleep in my oldest’s room as I feared I kept stirring the kids by tossing and turning. Took a sleeping pill and fell asleep in about a 1/2 hour. So I am asleep in my sons room (who has been having the nightmares) and hear a whisper in my ear (which sounds exactly like an Amazon Alexa). “You have a spirit in your room” and then waking up from sleeping on my right side I felt like something was pushing me down, holding me in place. I screamed “NO” and “GET OFF ME” and managed to run out of “C’s” room and back into my room. I’m not a fan of things messing with me while I sleep. Needless to say, I saged my whole home and set my boundaries yet again. Spirit is not allowed to bother me while I sleep. I want to see spirit & hear spirit but when spirit touches me its kinda freaky, although, that is an empaths first ability. I am trying to learn how to not be scared of spirit but I don’t like things bothering me in the middle of the night at the witching hour, ya know?

* Side note- I do not believe it was astral travel. Especially since I heard a voice.

Anywho- Do you see, hear, feel spirit? Would love to hear other stories. Have a great day and thanks for reading!! xo

Your “roots”

Lets talk on family for a bit. A little on how you were raised. I am thinking this is sort of a pattern for us empaths.

I grew up in a suburban home with my sister, both my parents and always a fuzzy (dog) friend. My dad worked, a lot. He was on shift work and would be sleeping at different hours all the time. My mom, stayed at home with my sister and I until we became more functional and she went back to work when we were teens.

My dad and I have always butt heads. We are both Cancers, although, he never seemed to get the emotional side of the crabby crab, just the moodiness. Some days you never knew what you would get. For my sister and I, sometimes we had to walk on egg shells. My dad hated his job and it was probably because he had to work constantly. He had a family to support so I know he felt that pressure. He was not around a lot but for me, I felt like we never really got to have have a connection. Do I love my father? Absolutely. He has helped me out in so many ways and I am so grateful. Did he ever take interest in me? Not so much and its ok, it was how he was raised as well. My grandparents, his parents, who are now deceased, never took a big role in my life or my sisters. When my sister was born they moved away. We didn’t see them much. As I got older and had my first child, that is when my grandmother took more of an interest in me. When I asked her about this, she told me it was because we didn’t have much in common. That hurt but I have since forgave but hard to forget.

My mom, a quiet Gemini, lost her whole family when I was young. Her mom, who was first battled with Alzheimer’s. This was very hard on my mom. Her brother, shortly after, who suffered years of issues with diabetes passed away. Finally, her father, although I am not certain, I believe he had cancer. He had moved into our home very briefly when he was ill. This all happen in maybe a 3 year span. I can’t imagine how hard this was on my mom. She didn’t cope well. She kept herself busy with housework never giving us any inkling that she was sad. Never did she talk about her feelings or emotions she was going through. She never led us to believe she was hurting. I was around 8 and my sister 10.

Both my parents, who I love dearly, never talked feelings, emotions, life situations. Did it teach me to be strong and handle whatever comes my way? You would think it did but absolutely did not. I wonder if I am extra sensitive and extra emotional because of it. Did god put me with these two people to teach them how to be more in touch with emotions and feeling? Perhaps but at almost 40 years old thing are still the same.

I had mentioned in another entry that we are transferring to another location. My parents, who currently live a mile away, have not been the best support. Both of them really have not talked about it. I finally broke down to my mom the other day to let her know I feel emotionally unsupported. They have not asked how I am doing with this all or have asked very little detail on the big change that will be coming. Instead, they pretend everything is ok, to put on a happy face and just not talk about it. My mom, who of course is so very upset that we are leaving, is very unhappy about it. She doesn’t know how to process this or handle this. What she knows is, pretend its ok and not talk about it. I hope after our talk, she will be more open with me. I don’t want to feel alone in this. I need to feel the emotional support from my family. My sister has been somewhat supportive but is equally unhappy.

My question is….Empaths, did you grow up in a similar household? Did you have emotional support surrounding you?

Thanks for reading the rambles. Much love. xo

Hotel Galvez

What a cool hotel. Hotel Galvez is located on Galveston Island in Texas. This building is amazingly beautiful but it is very haunted. My family went and stayed there for two nights. One of the ghost stories you will hear is of a woman who hung herself after she thought her fiance was lost at sea. Unfortunately, he was not and came back a few days after her tragedy. The room, 501, numerous sightings have been documented of seeing her apparition. We did not stay in this room but thought I would share a little background of the building.

My experience, as an empath, was definitely interesting, to say the least. Pulling up to this building you can just feel the energy. Once you walk in it almost hits you like a rock. So much energy in the building. It was just a lot to take in. Then, I really felt it. I became dizzy, lightheaded, weak in the knees and started to get a stomach ache almost immediately. Spirits are attracted to sensitive beings. I had a spirit attach to me but I didn’t know it just yet. Since I am still learning my abilities, I figured to go outside, get barefoot and walk in the grass. I need to get grounded. I took a walk in the grass and it did nothing. The hotel is right by the ocean so I figured I would try the sand next. Again, nothing and still feeling like shit. My husband getting a bit frustrated with me at this point, I asked him to just take the kids and go hit the boardwalk. I sent a message to my teacher. She says I have a spirit attached and to wipe around my head, get really mad and yell for it to get off me. After dealing with all these symptoms for over an hour, I listened to my teacher and within 10-15 mins, I was finally me again. It was pretty amazing. I wanted to have a experience while at this hotel and boy, did I get it. For the rest of the trip I was fine. I set my boundaries and demanded that no one else is to attach to me.

Thanks for reading. xo

2019

What a year so far. This year for a lot of people has been absolutely crazy. It seems like 2019 is the year that we are all challenged in some way or another or almost forced to deal with our shit. Alright…you have been comfortable for awhile now. God says, time to shake things up and it is ok.

If you believe in a higher self, god, or whoever it is, we are always faced with challenges. We are given these so our souls can learn and grow from the lesson behind it. Some may have it worse then others and typically it is because he or she did not learn the lesson or meaning behind it.  Although I will say, this does not apply to everything.

My family, typical suburban family on the east coast, went through hell a few weeks ago. My husbands work had some major issues and now we must relocate because he is getting laid off.  I’ve been in the same area my whole life! I’ve never left this state and only spent one year in another city in the same state. We have roots, my parents, my sister and my nieces, who are actually 40 mins away), a few friends. Both my sons have friends here and don’t really want to go. My home. My life is here and it’s scary as hell to uproot and start over somewhere new.

Ok, god. What’s the lesson behind all this? Why is this happening to us? The lesson is simple, we are human beings, we are always changing. We must get out of our comfort zone sometimes so we can grow. Things are not always going to be peachy-keen. Things will get really tough sometimes but it is done for our highest good. It is done so we can learn and grow. For the past few years, I have been feeling like I have been growing apart a bit from my mom, which literally tears me up. Now, I am certain this is why. Before I couldn’t even fathom this idea, leaving my mom. The idea always scared me before. I love my mom very much but without feeling a bit of a separation these past few years, this move would swallow me whole.

What’s the lesson behind this? God is teaching me to be more independent and not having to depend on people to always be there because they won’t. I am still terrified to lose my parents some day which could be another reason.  Bottom line, without loss, we will remain unchanged. Change happens constantly. We need change to grow and evolve.

Thanks for reading. Xo

Your secret isn’t mine to hold onto anymore…

You know when you find out someone else’s secret but you feel so incredibly helpless to know that persons secret, so you just keep it to yourself? Does that hit home for anyone else or is it just me? I’ve kept this burden for years. It has caused me a great deal of stress.

Welp, I just released this pain today. I told this person that I know of the secret and it caused me guilt in knowing and stress. Empaths need emotional freedom. We tire easily from other peoples shit! Why do we do that to ourselves? We are not a doormat. Yes we love hard and occasionally feel like a punching bag but it is important to release all emotional baggage, especially if you have been holding on to it for so long. Will I feel better now that I told this person? I hope so. I still feel guilty but maybe because I held onto it for so long and just did not want to cause heartache. I am a peace keeper. I hate confrontation. I hate seeing pain in others and only want to promote happiness. I need to realize that this is not always going to happen. We need to step out of our comfort zones in order to grow. Sometimes, as much as it hurts, we have to cause a little rain so the flowers may grow.

Thanks for reading. xo

Is the universe talking to you too?

It started about 2 years ago. The number sequences. 111, 222,333,444,555,777,1234,123,456 and so on. I have three numbers I get quite a bit…911,808 and 439. All these numbers have a different meaning. My husband didn’t understand the craziness of it all until recently. We took a long drive to Florida over spring break. I would point out license plates, our car clock, mileage. It’s really all day long and I don’t even stare at the clock all day. I have a digital clock in my bedroom and now I cover it up at night time because if I wake up during the middle of the night, you can bet your ass its 2:22. It happen my past birthday, I was born on the 2nd. Woke up at 2:22 am. I do believe that was actually my grandmother saying hello to me that time. Back to the traveling for spring break. It was a long car ride. We came home in one day. 20 hours about. We are all super cranky. I did a lot of the driving and was just done with it. We finally got home around midnight but beforehand I saw 11:11pm. Ok angels…I get it. I am one with the universe right now and I appreciate the guidance but I’m feeling grumpy as hell. So please continue to watch over us as we head home and send more numbers tomorrow. HA!

I also get tons of animals sent to me. My most common is birds. I did see a snake yesterday and I looked up its spiritual meaning, it totally fit.

If you pay attention, the answers are already there. It’s up to you if you walk forward with eyes wide open or eyes wide shut.