2019

What a year so far. This year for a lot of people has been absolutely crazy. It seems like 2019 is the year that we are all challenged in some way or another or almost forced to deal with our shit. Alright…you have been comfortable for awhile now. God says, time to shake things up and it is ok.

If you believe in a higher self, god, or whoever it is, we are always faced with challenges. We are given these so our souls can learn and grow from the lesson behind it. Some may have it worse then others and typically it is because he or she did not learn the lesson or meaning behind it.  Although I will say, this does not apply to everything.

My family, typical suburban family on the east coast, went through hell a few weeks ago. My husbands work had some major issues and now we must relocate because he is getting laid off.  I’ve been in the same area my whole life! I’ve never left this state and only spent one year in another city in the same state. We have roots, my parents, my sister and my nieces, who are actually 40 mins away), a few friends. Both my sons have friends here and don’t really want to go. My home. My life is here and it’s scary as hell to uproot and start over somewhere new.

Ok, god. What’s the lesson behind all this? Why is this happening to us? The lesson is simple, we are human beings, we are always changing. We must get out of our comfort zone sometimes so we can grow. Things are not always going to be peachy-keen. Things will get really tough sometimes but it is done for our highest good. It is done so we can learn and grow. For the past few years, I have been feeling like I have been growing apart a bit from my mom, which literally tears me up. Now, I am certain this is why. Before I couldn’t even fathom this idea, leaving my mom. The idea always scared me before. I love my mom very much but without feeling a bit of a separation these past few years, this move would swallow me whole.

What’s the lesson behind this? God is teaching me to be more independent and not having to depend on people to always be there because they won’t. I am still terrified to lose my parents some day which could be another reason.  Bottom line, without loss, we will remain unchanged. Change happens constantly. We need change to grow and evolve.

Thanks for reading. Xo

Your secret isn’t mine to hold onto anymore…

You know when you find out someone else’s secret but you feel so incredibly helpless to know that persons secret, so you just keep it to yourself? Does that hit home for anyone else or is it just me? I’ve kept this burden for years. It has caused me a great deal of stress.

Welp, I just released this pain today. I told this person that I know of the secret and it caused me guilt in knowing and stress. Empaths need emotional freedom. We tire easily from other peoples shit! Why do we do that to ourselves? We are not a doormat. Yes we love hard and occasionally feel like a punching bag but it is important to release all emotional baggage, especially if you have been holding on to it for so long. Will I feel better now that I told this person? I hope so. I still feel guilty but maybe because I held onto it for so long and just did not want to cause heartache. I am a peace keeper. I hate confrontation. I hate seeing pain in others and only want to promote happiness. I need to realize that this is not always going to happen. We need to step out of our comfort zones in order to grow. Sometimes, as much as it hurts, we have to cause a little rain so the flowers may grow.

Thanks for reading. xo

Is the universe talking to you too?

It started about 2 years ago. The number sequences. 111, 222,333,444,555,777,1234,123,456 and so on. I have three numbers I get quite a bit…911,808 and 439. All these numbers have a different meaning. My husband didn’t understand the craziness of it all until recently. We took a long drive to Florida over spring break. I would point out license plates, our car clock, mileage. It’s really all day long and I don’t even stare at the clock all day. I have a digital clock in my bedroom and now I cover it up at night time because if I wake up during the middle of the night, you can bet your ass its 2:22. It happen my past birthday, I was born on the 2nd. Woke up at 2:22 am. I do believe that was actually my grandmother saying hello to me that time. Back to the traveling for spring break. It was a long car ride. We came home in one day. 20 hours about. We are all super cranky. I did a lot of the driving and was just done with it. We finally got home around midnight but beforehand I saw 11:11pm. Ok angels…I get it. I am one with the universe right now and I appreciate the guidance but I’m feeling grumpy as hell. So please continue to watch over us as we head home and send more numbers tomorrow. HA!

I also get tons of animals sent to me. My most common is birds. I did see a snake yesterday and I looked up its spiritual meaning, it totally fit.

If you pay attention, the answers are already there. It’s up to you if you walk forward with eyes wide open or eyes wide shut.

It was all a dream…

But I wasn’t reading any magazines. LOL. Took ya back to the 90’s, perhaps?

I was astral projecting the other night and it was scary as heck. Don’t you hate the feeling? Feeling stuck, cant wake up, cant move. It really is a freaky thing if you don’t know how to handle it. I’m in my bed. I realized its a dream but nothing I can really do but just try to get out of the paralyzed state. If I’m going to go through the motions of astral travel, why can’t I actually have fun with it? I don’t want it to be scary. Hoping to hear from others that have experience with it. I have a lot of topics I am researching, I guess this one will be added to my list.

When it comes down to it, don’t we all feel stuck in some sort of area in our life? How do we handle it? Ignore it and hope it goes away. Suck it up and just deal? Or figure out how to embrace the shit and go forward with life? It seems to always be a lesson though, doesn’t it?

Empaths- a little on self identity and relationships

Who the hell am I? Anyone know? LOL.

I have been trying to figure this out for a very long time. I’m a mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister and all of those help to mold me…but without all of that….who am I? Being an empath, being around others and sucking in others energies for so long…I forgot what makes me tick…what makes me, me and finding those things in the world that make me happy. Now don’t get me wrong, my kids are my everything, the make me extremely happy although sometimes being a parent can be challenging. Being a wife can also be very challenging as well. My husband (Scorpio) have been together for 15 years. I love him dearly too but since we are both water signs and emotions can be pretty extreme sometimes, we make it work. I’m not saying my marriage is perfect by any means but we are trying to find a balance through it all. Before I really realized all this empath stuff, I knew that I require a lot of down time to myself. I can not be around noise or people constantly or I will be a cranky, jerky girl. LOL. Before he would take offense to that, if I would disappear and go hang out in the bedroom to recharge. He is finally understanding my needs and honoring what I need. I require downtime/alone time daily to recharge. Hands down. I need this. Before I would get guilted if I did that. Now he honors and respects what I need and I so appreciate my husband allowing me to now do this.

Back to self identity, being an empath, putting others needs as ease and forgetting about my needs for so many years. I’m not sure if you would really label that as an empath or a healer, which I am both. I dabble a bit in palmistry. If you have a bunch of vertical lines under your pinky finger, your dominant hand, chances are you are a healer. That’s not the only sign of being one but just wanted to share that little fun fact. Hey, ya learn something new everyday. LOL. Another sign would be a great need to want to help people, animals, the planet, etc. So here I am, wanting to save everyone but have my own healing to do but that’s me, always putting others before myself. Does it make sense that I dont know what makes me super happy since I have been paying attention to everyone elses needs but mine for so many years? Yes, it totally does. I am working on it. Thank you for letting me share my stories with you. They say journaling is a great way for self expression.

Besides family stuff here are a few things that make me happy:

Sunshine

Warm temperatures

The beach, pool, bathtub. (This crabby needs her water)

Beautiful scenery

Hikes

Waterfalls

Traveling

Cooking

Animals

Softball, Basketball, maybe even running LOL

Psychic stuff, astrology, numerology, higher learning, spiritual stuffs.

Stay tuned for more stuff I hope to add as I am finding myself after almost 39 years. What makes you thrive? Thanks for reading. Have a beautiful day! Xo

Empath or faker?

I believe there are empaths. I believe some of us can feel more then others. I believe there are psychics. Does it mean that I believe every psychic who claims they are psychic are? No, I don’t. I believe some exist, who truly want to help others and I believe we have the fakers out there doing it just for the money but its their journey. Who are we to judge that?

Do we all have psychic abilities? Yes. We do. Some are able to access it easier then others. Does it make them better then you? Absolutely not. If any empath, psychic is walking around acting more superior or believes they are more superior, question that, because that sounds very superficial.

I get it…the word “empath” has gotten a lot more attention over the past few years but maybe its a good thing. Some of us are finally understanding more about ourselves. I have always felt different. Not always able to relate to others. Did I have childhood trauma? No. I didn’t. If you have read my first post, I mentioned that I am a cancer and the moon rules my emotions. I actually had an amazing birth chart done recently. Stephanie Cotton. Google that girl. It was amazing.

All in all, do I need a label? No, I don’t. Has it helped me understand myself a little more? Yes, it has and it is creating awareness. Bottom line, I know that I am a sensitive being trying to make a difference in this world. That I do know and it will be done without judgement on my part. My journey is mine and your journey is yours. Be true to yourself. Don’t let others dim your light. There will always be skeptics, non-believers out there and again, it’s ok. Walk your walk and put trust in yourself. This is your life experience and I hope it is a good one.

Thanks for reading. Xo

Empaths & ADD/ADHD, OCD and other mental disorders

It’s actually quite funny, an empath, ending up working for psychologists. Being in that building and feeling all the patients coming in ranging in all different psychological disorders. This is where I started really feeling my empathic side and if you read my first post, I literally felt like I was losing my shit.

I do admin work and help patients all day. Now working at home is a lot better then having to enter a building everyday where hundreds of patients come in daily, I still have to remember to sage and ground myself because I still go through 40+ patient charts daily. The most common issue I see is ADD/ADHD. The youngest patients I have seen are 5 ranging up to 70’s.

For me, Ive struggled with ADD my whole life and OCD. Although my OCD isn’t as bad as others may have. My brain never stops. I especially find it hard to turn off at night time. I am constantly analyzing, overthinking, playing out scenarios, you name it. My brain definitely talks more then I talk out loud. I’m a quite the introvert. I do take medication daily to help my focus and slow my brain down. I’m not sure if this dulls my senses or not. I am still learning about my abilities and myself.

Do you suffer from any disorders? How do you cope? Now I am no doctor, so many young children being diagnosed with certain disorders like bi-polar. I cant help to wonder…are they just sensitive beings? Being an emotional cancer (shout out to my July birthday’s), Ive always felt like an off and on switch. Experiencing many highs and many lows, some could say possible bipolar but looking back just feeling many different people around me. Mental health is no joke. Raising two amazing boys, 13 & 9, I am teaching them its ok to talk about feelings, emotions and that its ok to cry. We don’t always have to be strong. We can fall apart but only if we communicate. I never want them to fall apart in silence like I have for so many years. My children definitely share in my empath abilities. My oldest is a Sagittarius, he is so amazing. He is a leader, he has amazing talent like writing and drawing. He is beyond smart and an old soul. He is taking interest in the environment and talking about ways to help it. I hope to help him with going forward in making plans and effort in this because I feel the same way. My youngest, a Gemini, is so gentle and loving. He definitely soaks up others energies more so then my oldest. Although they both tend to get quiet while around others at time. My oldest is usually quite the chatter box. LOL. They both love animals very much like I do. My youngest also has talent of writing and drawing but doesn’t see it through very often. He is quite the athlete. He excels at basketball. If you are a parent with school age children, you probably know about Fortnite. This video game drives me nuts at times. He plays this game and screams at times when he loses. It seems to get to him or maybe that’s how most kids are with this game? I have to let him play in small doses. My oldest doesn’t seem to care for the violent games but he loves scary movies. The are polar opposites and both very special. I am beyond lucky to raise such amazing kiddos.

I think that’s all for now. Rambling over. Thanks for reading!