Waking up to awareness

Y’all….I’m a Texan now so I can say that! Hahah. It’s been awhile since I’ve written. If you have followed my others posts we straight up moved from Delaware to Texas and I love it here! Something about southern hospitality and people helping people. It’s so different here then the east coast.

How many of you have had a “wtf” year?? It’s been a heck of a ride this year. So many of you are waking up to being “sensitive” or simply put, an empath.

Why is this happening? Why have you always felt alone or depressed? Simply put…we are here to change the world. I believe things are changing but we as a whole need to step up and embrace it. I really should rename my blog, Messy Empath. Half the time, I don’t know what the heck is happening, who I’m picking up or what the frig this ache or pain is related to. Could it be me or the guy I’m next to. How do you tell? Do you blame on others or own up to your aches/pains. Saging, or using sage oil, walking bare foot in the grass or simply put as “grounding” is the quickest way to figure that out. Also- journaling or blogging is a great start.

Going to crowded areas- my eyes water like crazy. Being around stressed out peeps- shoulders ache like something awful. Female energy- I will feel tingles in my left calf. Male energy- right calf. My husband, currently under a whole lot of stress. I can feel his active brain every night while we turn off the lights and go to bed…and I can’t sleep because of it. We joke about it now but even though he will be laying there, quiet, he feels soooo loud and I have a hard time falling asleep because of it. Just a few examples for you. I started writing them down and really paying attention to how I feel. I highly suggest you do the same, pay attention! It will help you have less wtf moments. I also highly suggest the book- Feelings Buried Alive Never Die. OR buy the app for your phone, I think it’s $5. Anyway- There is a section in the book of ailments and what the meaning behind it is. For example- when I feel pain in my shoulders from people, looking up shoulders in the book, the first symptom of shoulder pain is “bearing burdens that don’t belong to you.”

Yes, being sensitive can be a difficult journey but we are here to help others get back in touch with humanity. Change the negative into a positive. Is this an awful gift? Not really. Trying to control it is difficult but picking up on others, being a human lie detector, helping others when you feel the sadness. We are here to change the world. You were picked to help the change and yes, you are a f’n rockstar! Have a blessed day, y’all!! Xo

One chapter closes…

This summer has been incredibly emotional for my family. In June, my husband, who works at a refinery over here on the east coast had a huge fire. A week later, over 700 employees from that company would find out via the internet/news channel that the refinery would be closing. Many hours later after the initial news broke, the company confirmed. I will not name this company but you may have already googled or have heard of this story already. The company had filed bankruptcy recently and if I am speaking honestly, we were worried before it went up in flames (pun intended). His union contract would be up in September and we were already hearing a lot of discussion of what the company wanted to take away from the workers.

Panic mode. Now over 700 people, who would be out of work by the end of August, would be looking for jobs. With a little inside help, my husbands impressive resume and god on our side, he landed a job in Texas. Holy shit. We are moving to Texas! Lemme back up just a bit- I’ve lived on the east coast, Delaware to be exact, my whole 30 something years on this planet. This summer has been the most challenging time of my life thus far. While I have tried to remain optimistic, hopeful, excited about our new adventure, I have been going through some of the darker emotions a little bit more. Guilt. Sadness. Leaving my family behind. My parents who are getting older. My dad recently having some health issues and possibly a bigger issue, which we will find out this week. Wanting to be excited but feeling guilty of the excitement while my family mourns the loss of me being near. My parents, who I love dearly, never a big emotional support system for me. This summer, I have felt more alone, then I will probably ever feel in Texas. One of my biggest fears, losing my parents. I know God’s lesson in all this is for me to feel ok without having my parents & sister near me. That I can be strong on my own. Let me repeat that….that I CAN be strong on my own and that it is ok for me to live & go forward in my own life and not have to worry about everyone else’s needs. I have always put others first. This move will force me to focus on myself for once, which has been long overdue. Thanks for reading and hey!-the next time I write, I may be a Texan. Later y’all ;). Xo

Your secret isn’t mine to hold onto anymore…

You know when you find out someone else’s secret but you feel so incredibly helpless to know that persons secret, so you just keep it to yourself? Does that hit home for anyone else or is it just me? I’ve kept this burden for years. It has caused me a great deal of stress.

Welp, I just released this pain today. I told this person that I know of the secret and it caused me guilt in knowing and stress. Empaths need emotional freedom. We tire easily from other peoples shit! Why do we do that to ourselves? We are not a doormat. Yes we love hard and occasionally feel like a punching bag but it is important to release all emotional baggage, especially if you have been holding on to it for so long. Will I feel better now that I told this person? I hope so. I still feel guilty but maybe because I held onto it for so long and just did not want to cause heartache. I am a peace keeper. I hate confrontation. I hate seeing pain in others and only want to promote happiness. I need to realize that this is not always going to happen. We need to step out of our comfort zones in order to grow. Sometimes, as much as it hurts, we have to cause a little rain so the flowers may grow.

Thanks for reading. xo

Empaths & ADD/ADHD, OCD and other mental disorders

It’s actually quite funny, an empath, ending up working for psychologists. Being in that building and feeling all the patients coming in ranging in all different psychological disorders. This is where I started really feeling my empathic side and if you read my first post, I literally felt like I was losing my shit.

I do admin work and help patients all day. Now working at home is a lot better then having to enter a building everyday where hundreds of patients come in daily, I still have to remember to sage and ground myself because I still go through 40+ patient charts daily. The most common issue I see is ADD/ADHD. The youngest patients I have seen are 5 ranging up to 70’s.

For me, Ive struggled with ADD my whole life and OCD. Although my OCD isn’t as bad as others may have. My brain never stops. I especially find it hard to turn off at night time. I am constantly analyzing, overthinking, playing out scenarios, you name it. My brain definitely talks more then I talk out loud. I’m a quite the introvert. I do take medication daily to help my focus and slow my brain down. I’m not sure if this dulls my senses or not. I am still learning about my abilities and myself.

Do you suffer from any disorders? How do you cope? Now I am no doctor, so many young children being diagnosed with certain disorders like bi-polar. I cant help to wonder…are they just sensitive beings? Being an emotional cancer (shout out to my July birthday’s), Ive always felt like an off and on switch. Experiencing many highs and many lows, some could say possible bipolar but looking back just feeling many different people around me. Mental health is no joke. Raising two amazing boys, 13 & 9, I am teaching them its ok to talk about feelings, emotions and that its ok to cry. We don’t always have to be strong. We can fall apart but only if we communicate. I never want them to fall apart in silence like I have for so many years. My children definitely share in my empath abilities. My oldest is a Sagittarius, he is so amazing. He is a leader, he has amazing talent like writing and drawing. He is beyond smart and an old soul. He is taking interest in the environment and talking about ways to help it. I hope to help him with going forward in making plans and effort in this because I feel the same way. My youngest, a Gemini, is so gentle and loving. He definitely soaks up others energies more so then my oldest. Although they both tend to get quiet while around others at time. My oldest is usually quite the chatter box. LOL. They both love animals very much like I do. My youngest also has talent of writing and drawing but doesn’t see it through very often. He is quite the athlete. He excels at basketball. If you are a parent with school age children, you probably know about Fortnite. This video game drives me nuts at times. He plays this game and screams at times when he loses. It seems to get to him or maybe that’s how most kids are with this game? I have to let him play in small doses. My oldest doesn’t seem to care for the violent games but he loves scary movies. The are polar opposites and both very special. I am beyond lucky to raise such amazing kiddos.

I think that’s all for now. Rambling over. Thanks for reading!