Waking up to awareness

Y’all….I’m a Texan now so I can say that! Hahah. It’s been awhile since I’ve written. If you have followed my others posts we straight up moved from Delaware to Texas and I love it here! Something about southern hospitality and people helping people. It’s so different here then the east coast.

How many of you have had a “wtf” year?? It’s been a heck of a ride this year. So many of you are waking up to being “sensitive” or simply put, an empath.

Why is this happening? Why have you always felt alone or depressed? Simply put…we are here to change the world. I believe things are changing but we as a whole need to step up and embrace it. I really should rename my blog, Messy Empath. Half the time, I don’t know what the heck is happening, who I’m picking up or what the frig this ache or pain is related to. Could it be me or the guy I’m next to. How do you tell? Do you blame on others or own up to your aches/pains. Saging, or using sage oil, walking bare foot in the grass or simply put as “grounding” is the quickest way to figure that out. Also- journaling or blogging is a great start.

Going to crowded areas- my eyes water like crazy. Being around stressed out peeps- shoulders ache like something awful. Female energy- I will feel tingles in my left calf. Male energy- right calf. My husband, currently under a whole lot of stress. I can feel his active brain every night while we turn off the lights and go to bed…and I can’t sleep because of it. We joke about it now but even though he will be laying there, quiet, he feels soooo loud and I have a hard time falling asleep because of it. Just a few examples for you. I started writing them down and really paying attention to how I feel. I highly suggest you do the same, pay attention! It will help you have less wtf moments. I also highly suggest the book- Feelings Buried Alive Never Die. OR buy the app for your phone, I think it’s $5. Anyway- There is a section in the book of ailments and what the meaning behind it is. For example- when I feel pain in my shoulders from people, looking up shoulders in the book, the first symptom of shoulder pain is “bearing burdens that don’t belong to you.”

Yes, being sensitive can be a difficult journey but we are here to help others get back in touch with humanity. Change the negative into a positive. Is this an awful gift? Not really. Trying to control it is difficult but picking up on others, being a human lie detector, helping others when you feel the sadness. We are here to change the world. You were picked to help the change and yes, you are a f’n rockstar! Have a blessed day, y’all!! Xo

One chapter closes…

This summer has been incredibly emotional for my family. In June, my husband, who works at a refinery over here on the east coast had a huge fire. A week later, over 700 employees from that company would find out via the internet/news channel that the refinery would be closing. Many hours later after the initial news broke, the company confirmed. I will not name this company but you may have already googled or have heard of this story already. The company had filed bankruptcy recently and if I am speaking honestly, we were worried before it went up in flames (pun intended). His union contract would be up in September and we were already hearing a lot of discussion of what the company wanted to take away from the workers.

Panic mode. Now over 700 people, who would be out of work by the end of August, would be looking for jobs. With a little inside help, my husbands impressive resume and god on our side, he landed a job in Texas. Holy shit. We are moving to Texas! Lemme back up just a bit- I’ve lived on the east coast, Delaware to be exact, my whole 30 something years on this planet. This summer has been the most challenging time of my life thus far. While I have tried to remain optimistic, hopeful, excited about our new adventure, I have been going through some of the darker emotions a little bit more. Guilt. Sadness. Leaving my family behind. My parents who are getting older. My dad recently having some health issues and possibly a bigger issue, which we will find out this week. Wanting to be excited but feeling guilty of the excitement while my family mourns the loss of me being near. My parents, who I love dearly, never a big emotional support system for me. This summer, I have felt more alone, then I will probably ever feel in Texas. One of my biggest fears, losing my parents. I know God’s lesson in all this is for me to feel ok without having my parents & sister near me. That I can be strong on my own. Let me repeat that….that I CAN be strong on my own and that it is ok for me to live & go forward in my own life and not have to worry about everyone else’s needs. I have always put others first. This move will force me to focus on myself for once, which has been long overdue. Thanks for reading and hey!-the next time I write, I may be a Texan. Later y’all ;). Xo

2019

What a year so far. This year for a lot of people has been absolutely crazy. It seems like 2019 is the year that we are all challenged in some way or another or almost forced to deal with our shit. Alright…you have been comfortable for awhile now. God says, time to shake things up and it is ok.

If you believe in a higher self, god, or whoever it is, we are always faced with challenges. We are given these so our souls can learn and grow from the lesson behind it. Some may have it worse then others and typically it is because he or she did not learn the lesson or meaning behind it.  Although I will say, this does not apply to everything.

My family, typical suburban family on the east coast, went through hell a few weeks ago. My husbands work had some major issues and now we must relocate because he is getting laid off.  I’ve been in the same area my whole life! I’ve never left this state and only spent one year in another city in the same state. We have roots, my parents, my sister and my nieces, who are actually 40 mins away), a few friends. Both my sons have friends here and don’t really want to go. My home. My life is here and it’s scary as hell to uproot and start over somewhere new.

Ok, god. What’s the lesson behind all this? Why is this happening to us? The lesson is simple, we are human beings, we are always changing. We must get out of our comfort zone sometimes so we can grow. Things are not always going to be peachy-keen. Things will get really tough sometimes but it is done for our highest good. It is done so we can learn and grow. For the past few years, I have been feeling like I have been growing apart a bit from my mom, which literally tears me up. Now, I am certain this is why. Before I couldn’t even fathom this idea, leaving my mom. The idea always scared me before. I love my mom very much but without feeling a bit of a separation these past few years, this move would swallow me whole.

What’s the lesson behind this? God is teaching me to be more independent and not having to depend on people to always be there because they won’t. I am still terrified to lose my parents some day which could be another reason.  Bottom line, without loss, we will remain unchanged. Change happens constantly. We need change to grow and evolve.

Thanks for reading. Xo